Thursday, October 05, 2006
CELEBRITY BOOKS KEEP ON COMING!
Who's the latest celebrity to jump into the kids' book ring? Queen Latifah. Last week it was Joy Behar with shitzu-caca-poopy-pants or whatever it's called. I haven't read either of these books so I won't make comments about them, but for the most part, celebrity PBs S-T-I-N-K. I wonder what the editor was doing. Perhaps he/she was making paper doilies or playing solitaire on the computer to fill the void. I don't know. The thing is that the well-known children's book authors, the ones who got well known without prior status via Caldecott, etc., do the same things sometimes. I have to wonder about Sendak's collaboration with Kushner.
So my question is--is this industry about making good books or knowing how to market bad ones? Unfortunately, I've concluded it's the later. Every time I hear about how a book hit the bestseller list I then hear the rumors of how it got there. I'll hear "Oh, well that book was done by so-and-so's husband" or "They decided to make it a bestseller before it was even created and talked it up at every conference and used lots of stickers and toys that made noises..."
Do you guys think famous faces are helping the book industry by getting parents who would normally go buy a Sponge Bob book for their toddler to think more about more quality picture books instead? Or do these potential buyers race right into the bookstore and refuse to look at other options? Are bad books making shoppers think that ALL kids' books are bad? I have concluded, since I work in a bookstore, that CELEBRITY BOOKS DON'T HELP. Please tell me if I'm wrong because I'd love to hear it.
What I'd like to do is start a campaign called STOP THE CELEBRITIES. I will do so but showing up at their jobs. I will go on Good Morning America and shove Mr. Weather Man off his chair. I will then BADLY predict the weather by announcing that it will be sunny for 2 straight years and demanding that all umbrellas be destroyed. Then I will jump over to the latest TV set and swap a few lines with Ray Ramano. I will ruin this by sounding like I have turetts and repeating the word "boob" over and over again. I'll tell some really bad jokes about chickens on the Jay Leno show and I'll follow this up by boxing a few rounds. Of course, I'll cheat by kicking and then the match will be called off. I'll RUIN EVERYTHING. The funny thing is that my antics and bad showmanship (like William Hung's 15 - www.williamhung.net) will make me a celebrity and then my books will sell millions. Hmm. I have always thought I have some singing and acting ability... I have always thought I have STAR potential....